The Riley Factor #107

The Riley Factor
Fort Plain, NY
September 1, 2011, Issue No. 107
(All the Rock Creek Farm news that's fit to print, along with unfit-to-print rumors, prognostications & bloviations.)

Riley -- One recent afternoon, at the beginning of one of his two-mile runs, the Golden One was tossed into the penalty box for felony assault of a French Guinea Fowl.  No idea what got into Riley, but he chased three, caught one, and dragged it around by the neck.  No harm, no fowl-foul, but nevertheless a guilty verdict.  As judge, jury and prime witness, I sentenced Riley to a few hours of no fun and no food.

Hurricane Irene -- After days and days of nonsensical television weather forecasting and warnings by governmental officials, the most recent 100-Year-Storm blew in and blew out in 12 hours.  It was a six-two storm here - a one-pumper - six inches of rain outside and two inches of water in the basement.  One pump in addition to our ever-present sump pump drained the cellar in a few hours.  Winds were 50 mph and less, so no real damage - just a few branches down.

In Memoriam -- On August 29, Isaac Miller was killed in a haying accident.  Ike was the 18-year-old son of our friends Melvin and Fanny Miller, and brother of our friends Elam, Aaron, Ruben and Lizzy Miller.  Ike was killed when mowing one of the fields across the road from the family home on Phillips Street in Fort Plain.  Ike loved to sing, and is no doubt now singing among the angels in heaven.  The Miller family runs various local businesses -- Melvin retired from farming and now operates Mohawk Valley Harness Shop, Elam has a barn supplies business, Aaron runs E&A Fence Co., Ruben runs the Miller family farm, and Lizzy is a teacher at one of the local Amish school houses.  Fanny found Ike in the morning, being dragged by one of the horses from the team that was pulling the mower, a gas-engine-powered discbine weighing a ton or so.  No one has been able to determine exactly what happened.  A very sad event.  Susan spent some time with the family on the afternoon of the accident, and we attended the Amish wake the next afternoon, with about a couple of hundred of the Millers' friends - a nice affair that presented a beautiful open-casket viewing of Ike.  He will be buried in the local Amish Cemetery, which coincidentally is on Miller land, right next to the field on which Ike had the accident.  Isaac Miller, 1993-2011, Rest in Peace.
Planting and Plowing -- Large, juicy apples are hanging on the four big, older McIntosh trees and one large hybrid apple tree in the orchard.  The two apple trees in the back yard are also full of fruit.  With a week to go in August, it is still early in the season, but we have eaten many, and all the horses and steer love them, so a new regimen has been added to the daily animal feeding routine.  Of course, it is advisable to enter the pasture well-armed with apples, because the horses and steers swarm you wanting more and more apples to eat.  A better approach is to stand on the other side of the pasture fence and feed the animals over the rail, or toss a few onto the nearby ground.  One evening, we fed the fivesome about a dozen apples each (some were small, but many were tennis-ball-sized).  The lone plum tree in the back yard has already produced about three dozen dark red plums.  Extremely sweet, the fruits rarely make it back into the house, at least when I see them first.  I did find that plums are one of the few foods that The Riley will not eat.

The Herd of Three -- Soon to become the Herd of Four, Susan talked with Bradley Chadwick and our Jersey dairy cow, Lily, will be arriving in a couple of weeks.  Since Bradley had heart surgery a month ago, he was unable to have Lily bred, so it will be up to us to get Lily artificially inseminated (known as 'AI').  We are supposed to watch the cattle, and when we see Eli, Michael and Raphael jumping-up on Lily, the theory is that we will know Lily is in heat, and we have to contact the AI Specialist to arrange a pregnancy.  (You will recall that the members of our Herd of Three are all steers, and alack and alas, are without the requisite equipment to actually breed, although reportedly they will attempt to do so).  (Many thoughts and lines come to mind here, but I will avoid them all in the interest of good taste).  Stay tuned for the play-by-play on this rural theater production.

And They're Off -- Down in front of the barn on the morning after Irene, we were unloading a few bags of bedding, when Lady took a bite out of the Silverado.  Yes, that's right, a bite out of the pick-up.  When did they start making vehicle trim out of plastic?  There is now a horse's-mouth-size bite missing from the rear passenger side of the pick-up.  And I know the horse that bit it, since I saw Lady and Rio licking and nibbling at the truck, and as I yelled at them to move along, I saw Lady take a bite and spit-out the made-in-Detroit plastic.  It is a good thing for her that there are no more glue factories in the U.S.

Mowings, Musings and the Woods -- Our great blue heron has been spending afternoons fishing in the edges of the lower pond, made easier as the fish get larger and naturally turn color from their camouflage-black to orange.  Every time we get near, the blue-gray flying behemoth takes-off and heads for either the watering hole in the pasture or towards the upper pond.  Once, we also inadvertently chased the big bird from the water's edge at the upper pond.

Fowl Weather -- One afternoon when I was out in the back barn working on the combine, I heard some honking and looked out the door to see a flock of about 25 geese circling the wheat field that we had just combined.  The Canadian fliers did one 360-degree circle around the field and landed right in the middle.  They were still there in the field a couple hours later when I surrendered and headed for dinner.   For several days afterward, late each afternoon, the geese returned to the same spot.

Visitors -- During my first three years at Noble Partners in Boston, 2005-2008, I worked closely with Robin Norton, our chief operating officer.  He and his son, Duncan, a sophomore at St. Paul's in New Hampshire, were scheduled to visited us here in Middle-of-Nowhere the last weekend in August, but both Hurricane Irene and CJ's bout with strep throat and mononucleosis created a postponement.

Blog -- The Riley Factor's official blog site is located at http://the-riley-factor.blogspot.com/.  It contains all issues to date.  (If you actually spend the time and search through our Internet site, you may need more help with your life than we are able offer....  But we digress.)

Quotes of the Month --

     When you win, you're not as good as you think you are, and when you lose, you're not as bad as you think you are. -- Bill Belichick, Head Coach, New England Patriots

     When your stock goes up, you're not as smart as you think you are, and when your stock goes down, you're not as dumb as you think you are. -- Gene McQuade, CFO, Fleet Financial Group

Facts of the Month --

     A cubic yard of water weighs 1,700 pounds.
Commentary of the Month --

     Obama has no new ideas.  All that the Democrats want is more money, your money, so they can give it to others who will vote for them and keep them in power. -- FOX Business Channel
        
     My three-point plan to fix the economy is simple.  (1)  Eliminate the minimum wage law.  (2)  Eliminate unemployment compensation.  (3)  Eliminate all legal and illegal immigration for people who are low-wage workers. -- Anne Coulter

And Then There's This --
    

President Obama walks into Bank of America to cash a check.

 

As he approaches the cashier he says "Good morning Ma'am, could you please cash this check for me?"  Cashier: "It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID?"

 

Obama: "Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am President Barrack Obama, the president of the United States of America !!!!"

 

Cashier: "Yes sir, I know who you are, but with all the regulations, monitoring, of the banks because of impostors and forgers, etc., I must insist on seeing ID."

 

Obama: "Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am."

 

Cashier: "I am sorry Mr. President but these are the bank rules and I must follow them."

 

Obama: "I am urging you please to cash this check."

 

Cashier: "Look Mr. President this is what we can do. One day Tiger Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putting iron and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his check."

 

Another time, Andre Agassi came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racquet and made a fabulous shot whereas the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that spectacular shot we cashed his check.  So, Mr. President, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you, as the President of the United States ?"

 

Obama stood there thinking, and thinking and finally says: "Honestly, there is nothing that comes to my mind. I can't think of a single qualification I'm good at."

 

Cashier: "Will that be large or small bills, Mr. President?"