The Riley Factor #72

The Riley Factor June 26, 2010
(All the Rock Creek Farm news that's fit to print, along with unfit to print rumors, prognostications & bloviations.)

FORT PLAIN NY, June 26 --
Planting and Plowing -- The hay baler has been transported to Lloyd Vanalstine's for a complete refurbishment.  We'll see how easy it is to find parts for a 50-year old machine.

Riley -- Pick-up 520 -- New game invented by Riley Saturday morning, after he chewed-on a deck of cards.  Dogs-or-Better to open.

The Herd of Five -- First attempt at worming them with Novomectin resulted in Chris being wormed and the cattle laughing to see such sport.  First aid indication on the box says, "If spilled on skin, immediately wash-off thoroughly.  Later, if you feel the urge to moo or eat hay, get to a vet right away."

Fowl Weather -- On Thursday morning, 24 Narragansett Heritage turkey chicks arrived all in good health in a box full of holes, courtesy of the USPS.  Susan says, "They are adorable".  One of the new chicks climbs on a small hay pile in the incubator and sits on it like the emperor on her throne.  The three senior turkeys have taken-up guarding the door to the new chicks' coop.  Beware all those who attempt to pass through this portal.  It turns out that one of the senior three may be a male, having hidden its gender during the period when we had two tom turkeys running the asylum.

The Narragansett Turkey is a heritage breed that was developed by crossing the Eastern Wild Turkey with domestic breeds brought to America by the colonists from England and other parts of Europe.  These are excellent turkeys to raise in free range environments because of their excellent foraging abilities and resourcefulness of eating crickets, grasshoppers and other insects.  It is also enjoyed because of its calm disposition and excellent mothering capabilities.  The good egg production and excellent meat qualities among its other utility traits make it an excellent choice to raise in large or small quantities.

Mowings, Musings and The Woods -- On Wednesday, Susan saw the world's smallest deer -- about the same size as our late departed Yorkshire Terrier, Jack -- less than two feet tall from hoof to head.  Ephraim arrived Wednesday evening with a ten-ton forklift and loaded the outdoor furnace used by the previous owners onto a flatbed trailer for transport to its new location at Ephraim's house on Tanners Road.  Stevie & Scotty and CJ & Jess will be visiting the NY Compound for Fourth of July weekend.

Quote of the Week -- "In this world, nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes."  -  Benjamin Franklin

                              

  "You're gonna need a bigger boat." -- Amity Police Chief Brody to Quint, in the wheel-house of the Orca, in Jaws, 1975

The Riley Factor #71

The Riley Factor June 22, 2010
(All the Rock Creek Farm news that's fit to print, along with unfit to print rumors, prognostications & bloviations.)

FORT PLAIN NY, June 22 --
Planting and Plowing -- The hay is in the barn.  After four days of cutting, tedding, raking and baling,under a very cooperative sunny and dry sky,  252 bales of a blend of timothy, alfalfa, rye and clover were stacked in the barn, and field no. 4 no longer looks like the lawn belonging to your neighbor-who-mows-his-yard-

every-third-Wednesday.

Riley -- Becoming a bit more civilized, the now nearly 10-month-old loves sleeping on the cold stone tile of the kitchen floor.  That and torturing the three cats occupy most of his day.  Along with his daily swims in each pond.

The Herd of Five -- There is yet another addition to the NY compound menagerie -- when we were stacking the hay, Ephraim Blank and Chris saw a large rat scurry across the barn upstairs floor, abandoning one comfortable rat's den for another to be determined.  He looked happy and healthy, with a perfect light gray fur coat.  But he is, after all, a rat.  Where is the Riley when you need him?  No doubt, lounging in the kitchen.

Fowl Weather -- The Keets are hilarious.  They are now weighing-in at about two pounds each, and now bravely venture a bit outside of their coop.  But, they never separate from one another, always seen as a close knit traveling pack of 16, never straying more than an inch or two from their nearest fellow French Guinea hen.  It looks as if they are claw-cuffed to each other by tiny sets of handcuffs, all moving in unison.

Mowings, Musings and The Woods -- Deer are being seen with increasing frequency on most evening drives through the trails, and the wild turkeys have returned, now that the month-of-May turkey hunting season has passed.  The other day, Chris raced one large gobbler from the middle of a hay field to the safety of the woods.  The turkey had to cheat in order to win, moving his point of escape further and further until he could get there before the Ute.  Little bastard -- but don't worry, the month of May will come around again.

Quote of the Week -- "When you think 'Obama', think weak and ineffective".  C Fuchs, April 2009
                                "When you think 'Obama', think incompetent and dishonest.",  C Fuchs, June 2010
                                "People who were duped by the liberal media into voting for Obama because the media was so intent on inflicting Socialism on the American people are now seeing what a bumbling incompetent president that Obama is.", Sean Hannity, June 18, 2010-

The Riley Factor #70

The Riley Factor June 17, 2010
(All the Rock Creek Farm news that's fit to print, along with unfit to print rumors, prognostications & bloviations.)

FORT PLAIN NY, June 17 -- All is quiet on the Western Front, in Middle-of-Nowhere.  Much sun, a little rain, beautiful days.
Planting and Plowing -- Spring mowings of fields & trails done.  The hay experiment continues, with a first cutting scheduled for this afternoon.  (Making hay requires several steps and 3-4 consecutive days of zero rain.  First the cutting, then fluffing, called tedding, perhaps more tedding, then raking, and finally baling.  If the hay is baled when wet, mold occurs.  If baled before drying-out internally, the hay may spontaneously combust after sitting in the barn for a while.)

Riley -- Went missing for 15 minutes on Tuesday.  Found across Cherry Valley Road, near Lloyd Vanalstine's place -- bad idea to venture across NY Highway 163.  The golden boy will need some more discipline.

The Herd of Five -- Happy, healthy and wandering around the pasture.  Each still receiving good night kisses daily from Susan.

Fowl Weather -- The three senior turkeys are becoming more and more needy.  They love to be with their Queen, Her Majesty Susan, for daily discussions and petting.  The 75 new black Jersey Giant chicks are developing nicely.  The 16 French Guinea Hens (Keets) are barely a month old and are the size of pheasants.  Although their door has been left open daily recently, they have not yet ventured outside of the barn.  Twenty turkey chicks to be shipped next week.

Mowings, Musings and The Woods -- Ephraim Blank will be in the house next week, helping with the haying and cutting some firewood, along with doing a bit of welding.

Quote of the Week -- "Without imperfection, neither you or I would exist." -- Stephen Hawking

The Riley Factor #69

The Riley Factor June 13, 2010
(All the Rock Creek Farm news that's fit to print, along with unfit to print rumors, prognostications & bloviations.)

FORT PLAIN NY, June 13 --
Planting and Plowing -- Approaching the end of planting -- Australian Butter squash, rosa blanca eggplants, butternut squash, some herbs and another 50 tobacco plants went into the ground over the weekend.  The potatoes planted last week are all bursting up onto the scene, along with the navy beans.

Riley -- The Golden Boy's newest favorite activity of the day is playing with the steers.  The Herd of Five is frequently now a herd of six as Riley endeavors to get into the head-butting game.  So far, his quickness makes up for his giving-up 100 to 500 pounds to his combatants.  Although, he may be one hind leg kick away from becoming an astronaut.

The Herd of Five -- Zeke (the youngest, born February 13, about 150-200 pounds now) suffered some sort of war wound on Saturday, bleeding from his right rump from a piercing of sorts.  A bit of colloidal silver from Dr. Susan and an order of stall-rest and the patient was cured.

Fowl Weather -- One of the senior turkeys (the one that spent a night missing last week) has adopted the role of perimeter warden.  Dawn to dusk, alone, she patrols the street front, yard and barn yard, and assumes her post in the front of the barn, right at the door, squawking an alarm whenever some large being or chicken is present.  Susan corals her to move her occasionally, but when she stubbornly refuses to move she will sit down and stay fixed (the turkey, not Susan).  A bit of a mystery.

Mowings, Musings and The Woods -- Deer Sighting Season erupted with energy and quantities.  We saw five deer Saturday afternoon and evening, all does, one at a time each at five different points here and there.

Tales from Freysbush Garage -- What could be a better story than spending 18 years building an airplane in the second story of a building with no external doors, stairs or ramps leading to that floor?  How about building a submarine and sailing (?) it down the Erie Canal from Fort Plain to Buffalo?  Credit (again) Leon Douglas with this amazing feat. Of course, no photos exist of the underwater voyage.  We won't even bother regaling you with the tale of his installing a V-8 engine in a 1970 Volkswagen Beetle -- pales by comparison.

Quote of the Week -- One of our favorites ... a classic ... "All man's troubles come from being unable to sit in a room alone and do nothing." ... Blaise Pascal, French mathematician and philosopher.

The Riley Factor #68

The Riley Factor June 10, 2010
(All the Rock Creek Farm news that's fit to print, along with unfit to print rumors, prognostications & bloviations.)

FORT PLAIN NY, June 10 --
Planting and Plowing --We are preparing for our first attempt at making hay.  No, really, that's what it is called when you spend the requisite three days mowing, drying, raking and baling the coveted livestock food.  Update to follow.

Riley's Antics -- High speed racing around and through large mud puddles is the favorite Golden activity of the week.

The Herd of Five -- Moo.  Much chest bumping and head banging -- their idea of fun.  Size doesn't appear to matter, as Zeke (150 pounds) gets into it with Gabe (600 pounds) and anyone (Michael, Raphael, Ari, each 450-500 pounds) in between.  Susan and her band of Amish sisters cleaned-out the entire barn Wednesday morning.  "Now it's so clean", commented Susan, "that the chickens and turkeys don't want to hang out in there any more.  They head for outside as soon as the doors are opened in the morning".

Fowl Weather -- The Keets are now flying, and running at high speed around their stall, and the barn when one escapes, which happens on a daily basis.  Only a little while before the next phase of this experiment arrives -- releasing them to roam freely around the place and wherever else they are inclined.  Separately, it turns out that the reason one of the three senior turkeys roams so widely is to lay her eggs out of the reach of the chickens, who peck them into scramblers, if given the opportunity.

Mowings, Musings and The Woods -- Recently, we had our closest encounter with a deer.  Chris took a shortcut on a little used trail while racing Susan and after making the turn back on to a main trail was 20 feet from a large doe, just standing there looking at her new favorite human.  After a few seconds of study, she trotted back into the brush.

Tales from Freysbush Garage -- Leon Douglas has run Freysbush Garage ever since he dropped out of the sixth grade over 50 years ago.  Cash only, and be ready to go to the auto parts store to buy whatever parts Leon needs to fix whatever you brought him to fix.  Recently, I have made the trip to Fisher's Auto Parts in Fort Plain to get brakes all-around and a horn for the Jeep, and a water pump and serpentine belt for the Xterra.  I could recognize about half of those items if they were laying on a table in front of me.  Leon is the local mechanic and a great guy, very talkative whenever we are there for something or other.  Freysbush Garage is halfway between our place and Downtown Fort Plain (remember, don't blink), about three miles away, on the corner of Cherry Valley Road and Nestle Road.  The business is located in a green and black two-story building, formerly a house, covered in asphalt shingles that were applied back just after asphalt was invented.  Leon lives about 200 yards down Nestle Road and walks to and from work twice each day, including the trip home for lunch with his wife. The Garage has no employees, other than Leon, although there is a helper there some days, who provides conversation for Leon -- unclear what else the helper actually does.  Leon stories abound.  The tale of Leon's installation of his car lift 18 years ago is a good one -- which involved a couple of neighbors, three tractors, and several days of digging and cursing.  One of my favorite Leon stories is about the airplane he once built.on the second story of the building.  A full-size two-seater with plush deep button leather seats, polished wooden dash and beautiful crimson paint job.  He spent 18 years on the project.  When it was done, it sat fully assembled on the second floor of a building with no external doors, ramps or stairs.  Once the plane was on the ground at some landing strip (still a mystery or two there) he flew it once and sold is for $36,000.  Next time's story >>> the submarine.

Quote of the Week -- "Am I the only  guy in this country who's fed up with  what's happening? Where the hell is our outrage  with this so called president? We should be  screaming bloody murder! We've got a gang of tax  cheating, clueless leftists trying to steer our  ship of state right over a cliff, we've got  corporate gangsters stealing us blind, and we  can't even run a ridiculous cash-for-clunkers  program without losing $26 billion of the  taxpayers' money, much less build a hybrid car.  But instead of getting mad, everyone sits  around and nods their heads when the politicians say, 'Trust me the economy is  getting better." -- Lee Iococca, in his new book, Where have All the Leaders Gone?

The Riley Factor #67

The Riley Factor June 6, 2010
(All the Rock Creek Farm news that's fit to print, along with unfit to print rumors, prognostications & bloviations.)

FORT PLAIN NY, June 6 -- Planting and Plowing -- The planting and plowing is done for this spring.  In the fields are an acre each of barley, oats, buckwheat and rye, each destined mostly for animnal feed, but some for baking flour.  Also from last fall are four acres of hard red winter wheat and an acre of semolina (soft white wheat).  There are also 20 rows of corn and 13 rows of soybeans in field no. 1.  And  around the greenhouse in the garden are 100 tomatoes, 200 hills of potatoes (Yukon Gold, Red Cloud, Swedish Peanut Fingerlings and Russian Banana), 75 peppers (various types), 75 cucumbers, various herbs.  In the raised beds are lettuce, sweet potatoes, green beans, navy beans, broccoli, cabbage, onions, and some other stuff.  Still growing in the greenhouse are the two lemon trees, two lime trees, two olive trees, lufa gourds, some watermelons, a few cucumber and some other long forgotten and unlabeled stuff.

Riley's Antics -- Riley sustained a minor abrasion Thursday, while riding in the back of the Ute -- trail brush whacked him in that long Golden Retriever snout.  He took it like a man/dog, with no whimpering as the golden blood dripped from his noggin.  On Sunday, he found some sort of egg somewhere -- looked like it might be a turkey egg -- and he carried it round for an hour or two before succumbing to dog hunger and eating it raw.   Yum.  (Or yuk).  At 100 pounds more or less, the nine-month old still thinks he is a lap dog.  Can you say "ouch"?

The Herd of Five -- The Fearsome Fivesome have become less cooperative lately at dinnertime, requiring a rodeo round-up of sorts (which they seem to thoroughly enjoy) to get them back into the barn.  Susan normally mounts an ATV, as the herd runs for the other side of Rock Creek, and chases them around the pasture a bit before they eventually make it to and through the barn door.

Fowl Weather -- The newest shipment of 20 Jersey Giant Chicken chicks (which should have been Narragansett Turkey chicks) are becoming accustomed to their new surroundings, although it's tough to tell a complaining 'peep' from a 'we love this, you people rock' peep.  Although one newbie was overheard saying, "This Fort Plain place is much better than our last flea bag of a chicken coop -- now we're living the turkey life, in style.  Hope that the humans don't find out that we're chickens, not turkeys."  Brownie, the newly-coined name for the senior turkey that spent an unauthorized night away from the farm last week, has taken to wide wandering during the days.  Her two sisters spend the days calling and searching for her, but it usually takes a Susan Search to locate the happy wanderer.  Saturday, two cars beep-beeped her out of the middle of Cherry Valley Road, after which we had to go get her and turn her around from what looked like the beginning of a stroll to the Village of Ames.

Mowings, Musings and The Woods-- Friday morning, we cut down 25 poplar trees in the woods next to the north trail by the fourth field.  Left to lie in the summer sun, they'll be good fire wood by this fall.  We have started seeing deer most days while out riding the trails.  So far, all doe, with perhaps a fawn or two.  And with the May 31 end to turkey hunting season, we have started seeing more wild turkeys running around the fields. And finally, there is no truth to the rumor, well maybe a little truth, well might be sort of indicative of what might have happened, if it ever did happen, of which there is no proof, well no remaining proof, and no witnesses, and no driver admission, that Chris crashed one of the tractors through the fence again.  A 'not guilty' plea was entered for the defendant.

The Riley Factor #66

The Riley Factor June 3, 2010
(All the Rock Creek Farm news that's fit to print, along with unfit to print rumors, prognostications & bloviations.)

FORT PLAIN NY, June 3 --

Planting and Plowing -- Mowing continued throughout the week in the trails and fields.  With 13 straight days of sun, 80-90 degree temps and no rain, everything was dry as dust before Tuesday's rain.  Wednesday was perfect for planting and Susan and the Amish trio (Annie, Barb and Lizzie) transplanted about 100 tomato plants and 100 peppers from the greenhouse into the garden, along with some herbs (basil, cilantro, dill, etc,) and other veggies.

Riley's Antics -- Riley has taken to following Chris around when they are both outside during the day, around the yard and barns.  Riley always manages to get close enough to the pond for a splash and swim -- those webbed feet still work like canoe paddles for him.  He frequently stops and sits in two-feet-deep water with only eyes and top of head showing -- must be his alligator impression.  Not very menacing.

The Herd of Five -- Definitely insiders when the temps are above 75, venturing into the pasture only in late afternoon and evening.  No more nighttime escapes to report.  When we are in the pasture, we now have to take vehicle keys with us, as Gabe and Eli have taken to removing the keys from the ignitions and leaving them dropped hide-and-seek fashion in the grass (so far, nearby).

Fowl Weatherr -- On Monday, the tall white pole pine in the pasture contributed 14 more fallen limbs, and roosts were made for the Keets and the Jersey Giant chicks.  All are now happily roosting in their respective stalls in the barn, their coops, and able to sit at their chosen height in order to regulate their body temperature.  Prior to the installation of their new furniture, the new chicks had been running and jumping around like little maniacs, trying to get closer to the sky.  Now, they are at peace.  However, all the Keets and Jersey chicks have created one method or another of escaping their coops.  We routinely find a few strolling the main aisle in the barn.  The Keets are a tightly wound bunch, keeping within a half inch of each other whenever humans are in the vicinity.  The Jerseys run for their lives whenever we get within 10 feet of them -- 50 tiny black dots scrambling in all directions while peeping their heads off.  Actually, they look like very tiny penguins, being played at 78 when they are really a 33 LP.  (At least half of The Riley Factor readership has no idea to what that refers).  Wednesday night, one of the turkeys went out on an unauthorized overnight stroll -- went missing about 7PM and our evening search was fruitless.  But from the world of happy endings, as we left the barn at about 8AM Thursday, the missing link was running happily toward us across the back yard, soaking wet and completely mud covered -- no longer a bright white Domestic American Turkey, but looking more like she was camouflaged returning from a week-long sniper mission in the jungles of Southeast Asia.  And lastly, a peeping box with air holes in it arrived from the Post Office on Thursday morning, filled with 20 Narragansett Turkey chicks -- another 20 birds all to behave well but act very nervously around the Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter holidays.

Mowings and Musings -- Susan spent Tuesday afternoon re-landscaping the side of the main barn -- bucket loader and tractor under saddle.  Looks great -- no one would ever suspect the septic tank exploded a month ago.  But, Wednesday morning, two chickens were seen teaching two turkeys how to dig nests in the just seeded earth -- what's the deal with that?  New sighting -- while rolling around the place on Tuesday evening's ATV run, we came across a 10-12 inch snapping turtle in the road above the fourth field.  He looked happy enough, but we stayed outside of snapping distance.  10 and 10 each, OK, moving on.

The Riley Factor #65

The Riley Factor May 31, 2010
(All the Rock Creek Farm news that's fit to print, along with unfit to print rumors, prognostications & bloviations.)

FORT PLAIN NY, May 31 -- Memorial Day Weekend -- the holiday weekend at Rock Creek Farm was wild & wacky, primarily owing to bizzaro guests Pauline, Barbara Lacroix Semanie, Ames and Debbie.  Friday night's barbecue featured prime steaks and half gallon bottles (jugs) of Western Mass local beer, all courtesy of Ames.  Saturday was spent at the Annual Amish landscaping and crafts auction.  Mohawk Valley Auction Center was abuzz (non-electric buzz, of course) with auctioneer yodeling and cries of "Sold, a bargain".  Such prized items were acquired as a child picnic table (Barbara), quilt (Barbara), giant beer stein (Pauline), personalized key chain (Pauline), lucky horse shoe (Pauline), stuff (Susan) and tiny 3-drawer cabinet full of bullets (Chris).  What a pile.  Uhhh, of treasures.  Ames won the award for Most Amish Food Consumed, by a Non-Amish Entity.  Ames and Pauline also met several of our Amish friends.  By day's end, both were asking, "Where can I get me one of those straw hats?"

On the Fowl Front -- The 50+ Jersey Giant chicks and 16 French Jumbo Guinea Hen chicks are out of their incubators and now each flock has its own coop (stall).  One chick found a way out and was found strolling the midway at 7AM when Susan and Barbara entered the asylum (barn) for Sunday morning's feedings.  The male Jersey Giant chicks (the roosters) have started separating themselves -- you know, chest bumping, smoking Lucky Strikes, driving too fast, chasing the little chiquitas.  The Herd of Five enjoyed all the extra attention over the weekend, and spent much time bumping their noses into the new and exciting visiting rear ends.

Trail Side Wanderings and Wonderings -- Barbara was maniacal, zooming around the trails on an ATV (her first time) while Susan led the way and Pauline and Chris played Rangers in the Ute (well, actually Chris drove in the role of Ranger and Pauline sipped wine in the female role reprise of Dudley Moore's Arthur).  We did see a deer a couple of times trotting along the back Deerfield Trail.  Barbara and Susan saw a pair of turkeys walking off the oats field.  During the course of an hour's ride, Barbara morphed from, "Which lever makes the ATV go and which makes it stop?" to "Can't we get some ATVs that go faster than 50 or 60 MPH on these trails?  Where can I leave my helmet -- the added weight is slowing me down."
 
Riley -- Riley's newest favorite pastime is finding huge, deep and messy mud puddles and rolling in them.  Which, of course, requires follow-up with a swim in the pond before being allowed back into the house.  Over the weekend, he was seen eating (or at least chewing on) two birds, a frog, a mole and chicken poop.  And he did carry around the yard at least one squawking chicken like a cat carrying her kitten.  No harm, no fowl foul.

The Riley Factor #64

The Riley Factor May 28, 2010
(All the Rock Creek Farm news that's fit to print, along with unfit to print rumors, prognostications & bloviations.)

FORT PLAIN NY, May 28 -- The extra 24 Jersey Giant Black Chicks that arrived unexpectedly (and unordered) last week are settling in to life on the farm.  Along with the 16 Jumbo French Guinea Hen chicks, and their incubators, they were were moved into their own stall in the barn to get into life with the Herd of Five, three senior turkeys and the chicks' older brethren, the egg-laying chickens.  The Keets now are each the size of an adult pidgeon, and they now occupy their own stall in the barn -- incubator life over.

Sunday, Monday and Tuesday were spent planting -- an acre each of barley, oats, buckwheat and rye are now in the ground.  And nine new acres of hay has been seeded, including The Deerfield -- timothy grass, alfalfa, clover and rye grass.  (A bit of rain would be nice -- weather has been 80 and sunny 10 consecutive days).  Riley has been out for runs and pond swimming daily.  Mowing the trails, fence lines and fields is up next on the daily routine (human not dog routine; dog routine is more lying around and doing nothing; with the occasional chasing of chickens and turkeys, only when Riley can isolate one from the pack).

Animal count -- Susan counted the animals ... 5 steer, 3 turkeys, 20 egg-laying chickens, 16 Jumbo French Guinea Hen chicks, 52 Black Jersey Giant chicks and 20 American Heritage turkey chicks expected to arrive within a month.  Add in Riley and the three cats (Stryder, Arwen and AJ) and the total is 100 on site and 20 in transit.  No red fox has been seen since the Battle of May 15.

Tales from Auctionville -- This Saturday, May 29 is the annual Amish landscaping and crafts auction, at Mohawk Valley Produce Center in Fordsbush, Fort Plain, about five miles from the house.  And for those of you who want to arrive early for the weekend and catch some early bidding action, Friday evening, May 28, 5PM, is the monthly antiques and estate auction at Premier Auction Gallery in beautiful downtown Fort Plain.  And that one comes with complimentary drinks and dinner, courtesy of the auctioneer.  Reservations are booked for Ames & Debbie, Pauline and her friend Barbara Lacroix -- trail riding, barbecues and bonfires are on the agenda.  Weather is 80s & sunny for today and the three-day weekend.

The Riley Factor #63

The Riley Factor May 22, 2010
(All the Rock Creek Farm news that's fit to print, along with unfit to print rumors, prognostications & bloviations.)

FORT PLAIN NY, May 22 -- Oh, oh.  Call Snerdley in Shipping.  Houston, we have a problem.  On Thursday, another box with holes in it, with the requisite peeping emanating, arrived at the main barn, courtesy of the U.S. Postal Service.  Box not ordered.  24 squawking chicks inside not ordered.  Appears to be a double shipment of the order we received a week ago.  Anyone want a couple dozen chicken dinners?  No need to keep refrigerated.  Ready to serve in three to six months.

Friday and Saturday were spent planting -- 20 rows of corn, 13 rows of soybeans, an acre of oats and an acre of rye.

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon ... you know the rest.  Well, Saturday night we went out to dinner after feeding the animals and locking them in the barn.  We left one stall door top open for fresh air in the cattle stall that holds the Herd of Five (stall doors to the outside are dutch doors).  When we returned from the Triangle Tavern in Cherry Valley, we were surprised to see Eli out in the pasture.  Expecting to find a broken stall door or latch, we found nothing amiss.  The stall door was still locked and latched from the outside.  The only possible explanation ... 500 pound Eli jujmped over the four foot high stall door bottom in a vain attempt to gain his freedom, ort least to gain a few more hours grazing the pasture grasses.  We hope Eli doesn't realize the pasture fence is only three and a half feet tall.

Tales from Auctionville -- Saturday, May 29 is the annual Amish landscaping and crafts auction, at Mohawk Valley Produce Center in Fordsbush, Fort Plain.  And for those of you who want to arrive early for the weekend and catch some early bidding action, Friday evening, May 28, 5PM, is the monthly antiques and estate auction at Premier Auction Gallery in beautiful downtown Fort Plain.  And that one comes with complimentary drinks and dinner, courtesy of the auctioneer.

And finally, farewell to Nancy -- goodbye, we hardly knew ye.  Nancy has left Rock Creek Farm after 15 months of living in Middle-of-Nowhere.  Next stop, initially, is living in West Springfield with Missy, Bob and kids, Alexis, Paul and Brady.  Also farewell to Gabby, the Belgian Tervuren Shepard, and Professor Mittens II, house cat, barn cat and all-around, very affectionate good guy cat.

The Riley Factor #62

The Riley Factor May 19, 2010
(All the Rock Creek Farm news that's fit to print, along with unfit to print rumors, prognostications & bloviations.)

FORT PLAIN NY, May 19 -- Life on the farm has been busy of late.  An acre in field no. 3 was planted in organic barley on Tuesday.  Of course, the planting process is multi-stage and generally requires two people and two or three tractors, or switching-around several pieces of equipment.  First comes the plowing (big tractor drags several-hundred-pound blades through planet surface creating rows of 12-to-18-inch-high furroughs), followed by a few days of resting the ground.  Then roto-tilling (or disking) the earth to chop it into fine particles and smooth it out, then large rock removal (with a rock-picking bucket on the large tractor, or alternatively, and evilly, by hand) then planting the seed (via grain drill or large funnel planter/spreader), and finally culti-packing the area a couple of times (rolling the seeded area with thousand-pound ridged rollers to drive the seed underground).  --  This year, all our culti-packing will be done with our 'new' (50+ year old) McCormick-Deering Ground Pulverizer -- what a great name for a farm implement of destruction.  --  Then nature takes its course.  We'll report back and follow this barley crop this year, through harvest and use or sale -- current plan is to use it in combination with wheat and oats for animal feed (cattle, turkeys and chickens all love to eat grains).

Over the next week or two, planting is scheduled for an acre each of oats, buckwheat, alfalfa and corn.  Potatoes and other vegetables are also in the mix.  Four acres of hard red winter wheat was planted last September, planned for harvest this summer.  It is growing well in field no.1, along with a half acre of semolina wheat.

Riley and Gabby continue with their daily runs chasing Nancy-on-the-Quad for a couple of miles once once or twice a day until they drop into one or both ponds for needed breaks and swims.  The ponds have held a pair of geese and a pair of Mallard ducks of late, and the three dozen recently added orange, white and silver pond carp are doing well in the lower pond.

The Keets (French Jumbo Guinea Fowl) have doubled in size since their early May hatchings.  The Jersey Giants (black chickens) also love life in the incubator and have doubled as well.  All the chicks are still cute, according to Susan and Nancy.

And shout-out to Lizzie Miller, who joined the Rock Creek Farm staff on Tuesday.  An Amish teacher during most of the year, running a school house with 27 students in grades one through eight, Lizzie will be spending a day per week this summer working in the fields and gardens with us.

The Riley Factor #61

The Riley Factor May 15, 2010
(All the Rock Creek Farm news that's fit to print, along with unfit to print rumors, prognostications & bloviations.)

FORT PLAIN NY, May 15 --  Today's lead is from the weekend sports page ... CELTICS 94, CAVALIERS 85 ... FLYERS 4, BRUINS 3 ... SUSAN "DEAD EYE" SLATE FUCHS 1, RED FOX 0 ... Yes, that's right, Susan met-up with for the brash red devil that had killed nine of our egg-producing chickens over the past two weeks, and had taunted us every day or two by prancing across the pasture, or a trail, or the back yard, or one day even sitting in the middle of Cherry Valley Road staring back at us,  Well, Saturday morning at about 8AM, while we were feeding the Herd of Five, turkeys and remaining chickens, the fox waltzed right into the barn as we stood there.  The fowl sounded the alarm, Susan chased the fox away and said, "I'm getting the gun".  She returned from the house with the LSI .357 magnum lever action rifle and a box of cartridges.  She stood in the center aisle and awaited the return of the fox.  It did not take long.  Ten minutes later, she saw him in the steer stall and waived him off.  He ran around the other side if the barn and entered the turkey stall where he was first seen earlier in the day.  A shot rang out and the fox dropped ... an adult, about 20 pounds, and looking well fed, although appeared to be not in the best of health, with a very mangy fur coat (and big teeth), even before his encounter with the 130 grain, full metal jacketed, .38 special missive.  Susan added, "I prayed for steady nerves and a steady hand, and the Lord gave me both."  Case closed.

Now on to the less exciting news from the simple life.

On Wednesday morning and into the afternoon, we decided to clean out the flu from the wood-burning boiler -- BIG MISTAKE.  While the big black box needed its annual cleansing, and taking the flu apart was a breeze, putting it back together was more of a hurricane.  We seem to be missing pieces, while at the same time we had more pieces than we need and also had pieces of a different shape than those we need or those we started with.  We are now waiting for Kore-to-be-in-the-House to perform his Amish plumber magic and put the molecules of the stove back together, so much like the transporter on the Star Ship Enterprise.  Beam that furnace up, Scottie.  And beam it back in one working piece.  Kirk out.

Thursday was a beautiful warm sunny day, spent relaxing and traveling locally.  Friday was similar, with some greenhouse planting and other minor around-the-yard-work shuffled in.  On Saturday morning, Susan and Nancy were all set to climb into the horseless carriage and travel toward Eastern Mass for a couple of days for Stevie's long awaited bridal shower, hosted by Stevie's many bridesmaids and two maids of honor, Liz Charette and Crystal Raymond, at Jim and Lisa Charette's house on in Hopkinton.  No doubt to be a beautiful and wonderful affair, albeit likely overdosed in estrogen.  Unfortunately, an injury to Chris' arm delayed the girly trip a day.  :-(  But at the same time provided the opportunity for this week's installment of Red Fox Safari.

The Riley Factor #60

The Riley Factor May 12, 2010
(All the Rock Creek Farm news that's fit to print, along with unfit to print rumors, prognostications & bloviations.)

FORT PLAIN NY, May 12 -- Sunday was spent working around the yard and in the workshop, and otherwise trying to look busy to keep CEO Susan off the backs of the laborers.  Late afternoon, in the kitchen, Riley decided to spar with Stryder ... MISTAKE.  The big (redundant) Maine Coon Cat did and does not back-down or back-up a single stride when taking-on the eight-month-old Golden Retriever.  In fact, when Riley unadvisedly gets within a pace or two of the feline, Stryder moves forward and swings that right front claw with a vengeance, claws extended, in case Riley has decided to get his long nose or big teeth too close to the senior member of the indoor menagerie.  No blood spilled, but forewarned is forearmed.

Monday morning brought a trip to Sprakers to Tri-Valley Crop Center in search of seed for hay for the six acres just plowed in the bottom of field number 3, and also for the three acres of the Deer Field.  Neither had been plowed or planted before by us, so the experiment continues.  Probably a mix of timothy, rye, clover and perhaps some alfalfa will be seeded later this week, aimed at producing harvestable hay in 2011.  Monday overnight brought (hopefully) the last hard freeze of the year, with temps down to 27.  All the outdoor plantings of tomatoes, cucumbers, squash and corn had to be covered with plastic oe mulch by Susan and Nancy.

Tuesday, Susan and Nancy went to the Big City in search of quilting materials.  Journeys down Wolf Road and Central Avenue brought bright lights and civilization to the pair from Middle-of-Nowhere.  In Albany, they have the electricity, just like we do, but they also have lines painted in the middle of the roads and red and green lights stopping and starting the traffic.  And not an orange triangle in sight.

John Fischer is having difficulties repairing the hay tedder (large rake-like machine that tosses mowed hay around for drying and leaves it in neat little rows), so it remains to be seen whether or not that machine will ever function at Rock Creek Farm.

This week brought great celebration at Rock Creek Farm, one that will be long-remembered through the annals of time (well, at least we probably won't forget about it for a few days).  Following upon the grand tradition of that long-storied march in Selma, Alabama, extending beyond judging a man not by the color of his skin but on the content of his character, building on the aftermath of the Germans' bombing of Pearl Harbor (apologies to Bluto, Belushi and all the brothers of Animal House, but don't interrupt me I'm on a roll), the Rock Creek Farm hen house has become integrated. Two dozen black Jersey Giant chicks arrived via USPS Wednesday morning and are doing their workouts in their (segregated for now) incubator in the main barn.  About two weeks from now, these new arrivals, which currently look like miniature penguins marching around a tiny prison yard with high steel walls under a giant red sun, will parade out the door, around the corner, and into into chicken coop history.  Free at Last, Free at Last, Praise the Lord Almighty, We Are Free at Last.

The Riley Factor #59

The Riley Factor May 9, 2010
(All the Rock Creek Farm news that's fit to print, along with unfit to print rumors, prognostications & bloviations.)

FORT PLAIN NY, May 9 -- Last Friday night brought a business financial planning meeting with Aaron Miller at E&A Fence LLC.  Sales are not the fence company's problem, but receiving and reviewing reliable financial statements seem to be absent from Aaron's regular activities, primarily owing to his accountant who finds little time to meet with Aaron or to provide him with monthly financials showing how the business is doing.  I would have been more helpful if I had thought to bring along my abacus, but the meeting went well.

The 16 Jumbo French Guinea Hen chicks (the Keets) that arrived Friday morning are all doing well in their incubator in the barn.  How they have grown in their second day of life -- we remember when they were so small and frail, at just a day old.  Now at two days of age, it seems as if they have grown so much so fast; we remember them when they were half their current age; they seem so mature as they crawl all over each other and gurgle as they march through their water and feed.  Oh well, the cycle of life circles on.

Saturday's Annual Amish Equipment, Tack & Tools Auction was another hit, despite the soggy weather.  In addition to the many 'valuable' auction purchases (including some concord grape plants, work lights, tool cabinet, benches, horse-head hitching posts, decorative grasses) we also met someone who wanted to sell some laying chickens, the exact same kind that we already have.  So after the auction, we went over to Ruben Miller's and bought 12 that had just started laying eggs, so production should be back to normal with the dozen new Mrs. Cluckworthy's.  We added them to the chicken coop and the new family of 22 seemed just like they had always been together.  By night-time, they were even squabbling about who lost the remote and squawking, "She touched me ... Don't talk to me ... I hate you ." ... But, the red fox shall never triumph.

And let's talk fish ... one of the best purchases made at the Amish Auction was four buckets of goldfish, pond carp actually.  About 35-40 fish, mostly orange, with some white, black, and silver mixed, in four to five inch lengths.  With great reverence, all were ceremoniously dumped into the lower pond mid-afternoon by Susan as the thunder-clouds once again approached.  In an unrelated story, a local dining establishment, The Charter House, announced a new fish fry every Friday night.

Lastly, and rather unbelievably, Nancy reported snow flurries as she and Susan fed the Herd of Five on Sunday morning.  And this as the 300 tomato plants, 100 cucumber plants, 100 corn stalks and a few squash plants are 'enjoying' their new homes in the garden outside of the greenhouse.  And speaking of the greenhouse, there are a dozen lemons hanging on one of the two lemon trees, and both lime trees are flowering.  The two olive trees growing but not blossoming yet.

The Riley Factor #58

The Riley Factor May 7, 2010
(All the Rock Creek Farm news that's fit to print, along with unfit to print rumors, prognostications & bloviations.)

FORT PLAIN NY, May 7 -- Riley has become a daily swimmer and those webbed Retriever paws work like canoe paddles as he and Gabby swim around the ponds.  The pair of Mallard Ducks appears to have taken-up permanent residence in the upper pond, and can be seen paddling around the edges most afternoons.  No ducklings yet.  Although the quacks are not yet dog fans, at least they don't panic when the two pups hit the water, but they do duck for cover in the cat-and-nine-tales while the swimming canines go through their workouts.

On Wednesday, Kore was in the house (actually mostly outside the house), and he installed a pressure tank and four outside water faucets around the greenhouse, to make for easy watering of the gardens, blueberry/raspberry patch and vineyard.  Field no. 3 was plowed this week, which took most of Wednesday and Friday to get the job done.  Beautiful weather both days, and two large black hawks and one red-tailed hawk circled Chris-on-the-Kubota in search of easy-picking food.  But mice were few and far between as the earth was moved.  Although, AJ the cat did manage to catch a full-sized (albeit small) rabbit -- he looked a bit ridiculous as he carried his catch around the yard in his mouth, like a mother cat carries her kittens.  Now if we could just teach him to catch a red fox.

On Thursday morning, we had two visitors ... two unknowns, self proclaimed 'neighbors from Sprout Brook', who dropped in to chat with Susan on farming, quilting, sewing and other rural America hot topics.  To add to the excitement, Riley showed-up at the door with snake in mouth.  It appeared as if he had caught an already dead one -- no doubt a precursor to advanced hunting activities to come.  The rest of Thursday was a day of well needed rest.

Early Friday morning, the Fort Plain post office called (yes, yes, they do have telephone, electricity and indoor plumbing there) -- the keets are in, the keets are in!  Yes, Sixteen one-day-old guinea hen chicks arrived and were put into incubation for their first month-or-so supervised growth upstairs in the main barn.  Cats and dogs no longer welcomed there.  Also, it appears that we have acquired a new barn cat.  There is a small framed adult all black cat, gold eyes, living in the old equipment shed out back.  Seems very docile, but you can't get any closer than 10 feet or so before he/she scrambles away (we think he is a male)..

On tap for this Saturday is the annual Amish equipment, tack and tools auction, at the Mohawk Produce Auction Center in Fordsbush.  No doubt a good time will be had by all, including the Yoders, Zooks, Millers and various Stoltzfus/Stoltzfoos families.  The annual Amish landscaping and flowers auction is set for May 29, same place, same time.

The Riley Factor #57

The Riley Factor May 4, 2010
(All the Rock Creek Farm news that's fit to print, along with unfit to print rumors, prognostications & bloviations.)

FORT PLAIN NY, May 4 -- Sunday was big sun and big heat in Middle-of-Nowhere, and Riley went for his first big swim in the upper pond -- the Golden's webbed feet worked great.  Gabby led the way into the depths, and both canines collapsed upon following Nancy back to the homestead.  And a trip on the Ute up into the back trails showed much drying has occurred and the trails are basically ready for the season's riding & hiking.

Plowing and planting are on the menu of the day for the first week or two of May.  The first field has already seen four and a half acres of wheat planted, and will also grow an acre of corn and an acre of potatoes and perhaps some soybeans.  The third field will be receiving an acre each of buckwheat, barley, oats and alfalfa.  Also, probably plowing for and planting six acres of hay (mixture of timothy, alfalfa, rye and clover).  Late last fall, the second field received its first cutting in over 25 years -- mostly brush in the six to eight feet high range was growing there.  Lloyd Van Alstine (the unofficial Mayor of Mendon) told us that he was the last person to mow that field, and it was in about 1983.  Since then, it was left uncared for and became overgrown with grass and brush, until last fall's cutting.   This spring, the field has thousands of dead four inch tall stubs and a lot of good looking grass.  A couple more mowings and a pasture should be born -- about four acres in all.  The brush stubs have been beaten to death by the bush hogs and will not regrow, destined to dissolve into the soil.  And field no. 4, the field at the top by the main entrance to the woods, is about eight acres of hay in its first full season of growth after plowing and seeding.  With any luck, we will be able to take a couple cuttings of hay from there this year.

On Monday, we planted another 18 grape vines in the vineyard area of the orchard, for a total of 30 -- trellis still in the design phase.  It normally takes until year three for grape vines to bear fruit in any real quantity.  And we installed a gateway & gate in the fence between the pasture and the orchard, so that occasionally a steer or two will be able to graze among the fruit trees -- we'll have to see how that experiment works out.

More plowing and rototilling also done on Monday & Tuesday, in spite of Tuesday afternoon thunder storms.  Only the pair of Mallard ducks swimming and floating around in the upper pond seem unaffected by heat or cold, sun or rain.  Perhaps they have a nest with eggs or ducklings in it -- a search may be done later.

The Riley Factor #56

The Riley Factor May 1, 2010
(All the Rock Creek Farm news that's fit to print, along with unfit to print rumors, prognostications & bloviations.)

FORT PLAIN NY, May 1 -- Riley & Gabby went swimming several times on Friday, well wading, in both the upper and lower ponds.  Warm temperatures and warm water made for a perfect canine beach day -- no sunscreen required.  After noon, the Holstein triplets were walked to the orchard and spent the afternoon grazing and running around their new playpen.  Surprisingly, at dinnertime they returned in an orderly fashion to their pasture, and were perfect gentlemen as they were put away in the barn for the night.  The Dexter brothers missed out on the bovine outing, as they were too ornery to allow for being walked on a lead to the orchard and back.  On Saturday afternoon, Riley made his first attempt at actually swimming, in the upper pond.  No drownings were reported.

Chris began Friday with a tractor trip down Highway 163 to Hill Top Tire, trailer in tow, to have new tires put on the hay wagon acquired at the Fort Plain Equipment Auction last Saturday -- always a treat to roam the New York State thoroughfares in a 55mph zone, crawling at 12.4 mph with flashers on and the ubiquitous red & orange triangles in full display on the tractor and the trailer.  No incidents to report, and Dave/Mork & Mindy Webb were entertaining as always.  Chris returned to the NY Compound at noon and plowed an acre of the field next to the garden shed and new barn, surrounded by the wheat crops, probably for planting of corn and potatoes -- exact layout to be determined in a few weeks by CEO Susan.

Really a routine day -- Susan and Nancy uncovered the outside tomatoes and cucumbers, and mowed the lawn and fields.  Nancy finished painting the library bookcase and filled them with books.  It remains to be seen as to whether any available time exists to actually read said books.  There is probably a hidden (or perhaps obvious) message in the four categories that we three agreed represented all the books we own ... farming, building, religion and science.

Saturday brought a new gate for insertion between the pasture and the orchard ... a new gateway for the steers to roam through.  Installation to be completion later.  Associated therewith was an hour long discussion with Aaron Miller (the "A" of E&A Fence) on the business side of the fence business ... riveting.  And Saturday also brought an afternoon with Ephraim, repairing the plow which had been compromised by a certain female farmer racing through the corn field with plow in the earth.  Guess what happens when the plow hooked to a two-ton tractor hits a thousand pound stone under the ground?

And lastly, the red fox continues to roam -- last seen at dusk Thursday, sitting in the middle of route 163 about 100 yards up from our driveway.  Mocking us.  His time will come.

The Riley Factor #55

The Riley Factor April 29, 2010
(All the Rock Creek Farm news that's fit to print, along with unfit to print rumors, prognostications & bloviations.)

FORT PLAIN NY, April 29 -- Much activity since last week's edition of The Riley Factor, although not too much of it Riley related.  The young Golden Boy has been let outside alone, unleashed, a bit to roam free.  He typically stays very close to the house and wants re-entry to the covered world in a few minutes.  He has taken to splashing in the lower pond whenever we take him near it or whenever he and Gabby wander there -- no swimming yet, just a lot of wading.  Today, Ephraim Blank is out in the back barn welding the recently acquired cultipacker and old sharpening wheel.  Aaron Miller from E&A Fence is out back around the greenhouse putting latches on the three gates that accompany the new electrified (solar) fencing installed around the greenhouse, shed and garden area.  Riley and Gabby love roaming and playing around that area, especially when Susan and Nancy are out there gardening.

Last weekend was the Fort Plain social event of the year -- the Annual Fort Plain Equipment Auction, staged only a mile from Rock Creek Farm in the large hay field at the intersection of Clinton and Cherry Valley Roads.  Susan, Nancy and Chris were there from 9AM until 7PM, and picked-up such valuables as a small hay wagon, a tractor back blade, hay rollers, the aforementioned cultipacker (heavy ridged rollers for running over planted seed to drive it into the earth) and varied and sundry other valuables for use in farming, gardening, playing and relaxing.

Tuesday was bad news day at Rock Creek Farm, as the now infamous red fox made a return.  You may recall that a week ago, on a Tuesday, the evil red demon caught and killed a chicken at 10:30AM in bright sunlight, only 30 feet from the driveway.  Nancy caught him mid-act and he dripped the chicken and ran off.  Susan chased him toward the back pasture fence and he ducked into the south circuit trails.  Well, this past Tuesday, he returned and killed six more chickens (a true tragedy of epic proportions), leaving only one fowl corpse behind.  Sad day for the egg industry.  Vice President of Eggs Nancy commented that those six Mrs. Cluckworthy's will be sorely missed.  Since all the chickens look identical, it is tough to say who survived and who headed to that great hen house in the sky.  A hunting party to be convened -- report to follow. 

This coming Friday night is antiques auction night in downtown Fort Plain, black tie optional -- way, way optional.  No doubt, another event to be remembered.  And May is chicks season -- on schedule for early May delivery are 20 New Jersey Giants (black chickens), 24 Royal Palm Turkeys (white feathers with black tips) and 15 Guinea Hens (also called Keets), which  look like gray pheasants or giant pigeons, and eat exclusively insects, with ticks being their food of choice.  All these May deliveries will be one or two day old chicks.  More on those topics and events your the next edition of The Riley Factor

The Riley Factor #54

The Riley Factor April 22, 2010
(All the Rock Creek Farm news that's fit to print, along with unfit to print rumors, prognostications & bloviations.)

FORT PLAIN NY, April 22 -- On Wednesday, beautiful weather saw Susan and Nancy planting 80-90 cucumber plants and 40 squash (zucchini, yellow summer, hubbard, butternut) in the new garden next to the greenhouse.  A few more low tunnels were created to protect the outside plantings until mid-May or so, when the last threat of hard frost is past.  And a patch for watermelon was created ... planting planned for today.

Chris spent the day tuning-up and preparing for the season all the small vehicles and equipment (ATVs, mowers, wood chipper (in Connecticut, called a spousal control unit, owing to its dark history of some 20-years ago in southern Connecticut)).  A trip to Zambri Polaris in Little Falls took a couple of hours and included a 30-minute course from the two owners on ATV mechanics, complete with seeing each tool for each job and inspection on the lift of each fluid-craving orifice of an ATV.  During which time, I was the only customer in the place.  Upon returning to Rock Creek Farm, Chris spent an hour dozing out back on the porch swing hanging on the garden shed.  In the evening, Susan, Chris and Riley rolled down the road to Armistad's field to view the equipment and implements on sight for Saturday's farm equipment auction.  The preview viewing was, apparently, a popular local event, as the field was filled with equipment and onlookers.  Although, we were in the minority since we were strolling with Riley and most others were strolling with Budweiser.

This morning, Susan took Riley out back on an early morning walk.  And the boys from E&A Fence were here putting the finishing touches on the new and some old back gates.

Tales of Freysbush Garage -- Leon spent Monday and Tuesday repairing the brakes, steering and horn on the old Jeep.  Full brakes all around, including the emergency brake, new power-steering hoses and a new horn restored the beast to its youthful prowess.  (Although the new horn is puny, and makes the behemoth Jeep sound like a clown car).  Best dialog of the day follows....

  Leon:  My first big job, over 40 years ago when I was just getting started in the auto repair business, was to convert an old Cadillac hearse into an ambulance, for a friend who wanted to start-up ambulance business.  Put a new engine in and all.  What a car.  He ran that business for a long time.  Eventually, he decided to add a hearse to his ambulance fleet.
  Chris:  Well, he had both outcomes pretty well covered.
  Leon:  (No laugh.  Quizzical gaze at Chris).
Tales of Hogan's Dead Stock Service --  A couple of weeks back, we had to have Ari the young Holstein calf put down due to a genetic digestion problem.  Very sad.  Ari was so cute and very lovable.  He hadn't grown any weight in a month since birth, and was not even 50 pounds.  After phoning to check, Chris took the calf's body to Hogan's, the local dead stock service (business that deals with dead farm animals, some of which can weigh over a ton).  The opening dialog....
  Chris:  (Upon arriving at Hogan's Dead Stock Service, with dead calf in the back of the Jeep).  Hi Art.  I'm Chris Fuchs.  I called about our dead calf.  You and I met a few months back, when you picked-up a dead calf at our place on route 163.   I brought the calf today in the back of the Jeep.  Where would you like it?
  Art:  (While methodically and purposely sharpening a large knife on a whetstone).  Name's not Art.
  Chris:  Oh.  I thought it was.  Aren't you the owner?
  Art:  (Still sharpening).  Yup.  Name's not Art.
  Chris:  Oh.  Sorry for the mistake.
  Art:  (Silence).  (Still sharpening).
  Chris:  So ... what is your name?
  Art:  Name's Dick
 (There, with a dead calf in my car, I resisted my initial impulse.  Here, I'll also resist my impulse to add an editorial comment).
  Chris:  So, where would you like me to put the calf?
  Dick:  Through that door with the other dead calves.  Put him anywhere.  They'll find him.
  (Scene ends as Chris slowly carries poor Ari into the den of dead stock.  It is sad to think that, at Hogan's Dead Stock Service, the calves have a room of their own).

The Riley Factor #53

The Riley Factor April 20, 2010
(All the Rock Creek Farm news that's fit to print, along with unfit to print rumors, prognostications & bloviations.)

FORT PLAIN NY, April 20 -- On Monday, Susan planted 300 red onions outside in the new garden located next to the greenhouse.  And Chris planted the final five trees in the orchard, after digging yet another five perfect holes ... two walnut trees, two almond trees and one beautiful we-forgot-what-we-bought sapling.  We also created three 30-foot long low tunnels (sides of hay bales with plastic tops) for early growing of transplantings from the greenhouse that can't yet be exposed to the cold night airs.

This morning, Riley joined Susan and Chris on a trip to Leon's Freysbush Garage to have a few minor issues addressed on the old Jeep.  On the menu were front brakes, power steering and the horn (who needs those modern high-priced options anyway?  Just give me four wheels of basic transportation and I'll be fine).  The best piece of dialog from the garage follows....
 
  Chris:  Leon, the third thing I'd like you too take a look at is the horn.
  Leon:  What's wrong?
  Chris: Well, the horn never works when it is raining or freezing.  And it only works sometimes when it is sunny.  For example, yesterday it worked fine and today it isn't working at all.
  Leon:  Sounds like the horn.

You cannot get dialog like that from Hollywood.  Only in Middle-of-Nowhere.

Yesterday, Chris was in the audience (actually, Chris was the entire audience, except for a few cows hanging around the gym) for Bovine-Mania 1, the facing-off of two of the largest members of the Herd of Five, to prove who has the most testosterone remaining from those days when steers were bulls.  In the red & white corner stood Gabriel the Holstein, eight months old, 500 pounds, and 48 inches at the shoulder.  In the black corner was Michael the Dexter, one year old, 450 pounds and 40 inches at the shoulder.  As the action began, the two stared-down each other in the center of the squared circle, and Michael made the first move, a bold head-butt to the noggin' of Gabriel.  Not one to be outdone, Gabriel charged back with a head-butt full-on to Michael's cranium.  When the dust settled after about 10 minutes of rough-house, the bout was judged a draw, and Michael was scratching his forehead on Gabe's ribs.  Good thing their horns were removed when they were small calves, or the blood-letting would not have been pretty.

On tap for today, more obedience training for Riley, more planting for CEO Susan and Vice President Nancy, and more of the ubiquitous earth relocation detail for Chris.  Swing low, sweet chariot, he's coming for to carry me home ...